Chugga...chugga...choo-choo!

I like freight trains.  They chug along at an easy pace so the rest of the cars can keep up. I don’t even mind when I catch one while running late.  Like this morning while heading to church, Alex and I caught a train.  We counted the cars – 114 of them.  

Trains act as life’s pause button to a destination.

There are moments when I wish that I had a pause button while trying to read lips.  Aside from the fact that it is exhausting to lip read for long periods of time, most people just aren’t conscious of how they talk, or how their lips move.  And why should they be? Sound is taken for granted in the hearing world.  I know this – I used to live there.  

Lip reading without sound requires complete attention on the speaker.  If the speaker is animated, moving, and using their hands to talk…well…my ADD kicks in.  While I’m trying to watch the speech, I’m aware of the movements too.  My brain says, “Ooo! A sparkly!”   My attention is drawn to arms thrown wide, or the toss of hair.

And I’ve lost the conversation.

A pause button would be nice.  Maybe every couple of sentences I’d use it so I could quickly mull over what was said; so I’m sure that I’m still on the same topic thread and not wondering about something that I think I heard…like Aunt Velma’s painted dashboard, or why all of a sudden we’re discussing chinchillas.

No chinchillas were discussed today.

My daughters probably would appreciate a pause button too.  I’ve missed some of the important things in conversations, letting something go that should have had more discussion and over-reacting over something that wasn't said.  Misunderstanding = Not my finest moments.  Just ask them...they will tell you!

A pause might have prevented unnecessary shouting matches or some of the frustration that accompanies me saying, “What?” for the twelfth time.

Right now my hearing is pretty much off the charts.  If I'm not looking at someone talking - I don't know that they are talking.  I miss the whole “speech banana” and some other important sounds.   I found this awesome audiogram chart that gives an idea of where certain sounds register according to loudness and pitch.

And here is about where my hearing is today:

The red is my right ear and the blue is the left.  Some of this may come back after I’ve completed the current set of medications to help clear up some sterile fluid in my ears.  Like anything else in life, there are no guarantees. 

Which brings me back to freight trains and life’s little pauses.  Whether you are hearing or deaf, the listener, the one lip reading, or the one doing the talking – who wouldn’t appreciate a small pause?  It doesn’t need to be as long as a 114 car freight train, but long enough to smile, nod and gather a thought before continuing on to your destination.

After all, what’s the point of an engine hurrying on if the rest of the cargo is lost?

<3